Grief doesn’t go viral, it goes deep ❤️ Read my fictional diary exploring grief through a tech lens here: https://paragraph.com/@thedeadgirldiaries
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Showing up // shutting down Writing about relationships ending in slow motion. My tech friends especially seem to relate to the experience of showing up while shutting down. Who can relate?
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Six months into writing these diary entries, I've realized something: I'm not writing to heal.
Not. yet.
I thought I was.
But in fact, I'm writing to survive.
Each entry documents another impossible decision. And writing doesn't solve these problems.
But it does something more important: it witnesses them.
It says ,'This happened, this matters, I was here.'
Sometimes that's the only strategy that works - not solving, just surviving long enough to write the next sentence.
And then the next one after that.
In this way, fication is a balm. Do you agree?
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When survival means running on legacy code you swore you'd never touch again. More from the diary.
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We had this beautiful vision, solid plans, thought we'd figured out the product-market fit of your friendship, your future together. Then everything crashes. Now I'm sitting in the wreckage wondering if I should pivot or shut down completely. Six months in, I'm still deciding.
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From the diary: Sometimes the hardest questions in life don't have stack traces to debug. My tech-savvy best friend Liv died six months ago, and her son keeps asking when she's coming home. There's no error log for this kind of system failure, no way to rollback to when everything worked.
Six months since my world crashed without warning. Will asks for you every day - when is my mom coming home? I tell him the truth: She's not, Will. Because she died, remember?
Some bugs can't be fixed. Some questions don't have answers.
Read more: https://paragraph.com/@thedeadgirldiaries/what-to-do-when-someone-you-love-disappears-from-your-li?referrer=0xc0708a8fB9E798aE804c62f509Aa7a6A044F982C
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From the diary: People write beautiful code that's elegant, optimized. But legacy code? Nobody wants it around. It takes root in forgotten directories, deprecated functions — places where nothing else should survive.
These days, missing you has compiled itself into every corner of my system — a process that's persistent, memory-intensive, and impossible to terminate, no matter how much everyone wishes I could kill the thread.
But maybe some processes are meant to keep running in the background.
To my best friend Liv: If you ever wonder whether I loved you or loved you not, rest knowing you were loved completely, unconditionally, and your memory will persist in permanent storage.
Some connections don't break when the server goes down.
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Six months since my tech-savvy best friend died. Her son asks daily when she's coming home. I tell him the awful truth: She's not.
Grief doesn't go viral—it goes deep.
First entry in The Dead Girl Diaries. Check it out on my Paragraph.