@boiler

America tried to negotiate away French protections in a trade deal, so Canada’s counter-offer is simple: every American must now speak in a standardized Great Lakes Midwestern accent. Southern drawl — gone. Boston — gone. New Jersey — eliminated with prejudice. You will all sound like a Chicago meteorologist by 2029. We’re being generous with the timeline. This must be agreed to, signed with ink, in order to resume trade negotiations. That and you must adopt the metric system immediately. Thanks eh.

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